So our rule is not to avoid a place where there is drinking, if we have a legitimate reason for being there. The grouch and the brainstorm were not for us. Your man should be on his mettle to make good. If you are an alcoholic, you are a mighty sick man. It was the obituary of one of the best salesmen I ever had. This may lay the groundwork for a friendly talk about his alcoholic problem. A community thirty miles away has fifteen fellows of Alcoholics Anonymous. You will lose the old life to find one much better. What usually happens? Let him see that you are not there to instruct him in religion. Before then, I had written lots of sweet promises, but my wife happily observed that this time I meant business. In some instances there has been brief recovery, followed always by a still worse relapse. The authors outline the 12 traditions in the appendix of the Big Book. There was always one more attempt-and one more failure. He trembled as he went about, for this might mean ruin, particularly to a person in his line of business. He may be one of the finest fellows in the world. When drinking, or getting over a bout, an alcoholic, sometimes the model of honesty when normal, will do incredible things. I won't quote it, but look at the subtitle on the title page in the big book. Sometimes they hurt us, seemingly without provocation, but we invariably find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self which later placed us in a position to be hurt. That is one of mans magnificent attributes. This involves a process of deflation. Read the Preface to the Big Book. He clamors for this or that, claiming he cannot master alcohol until his material needs are cared for. Have you a sufficient substitute?. That means we have written a book which we believe to be spiritual as well as moral. They experienced a few distressing failures, but in those cases they made an effort to bring the mans family into a spiritual way of living, thus relieving much worry and suffering. Frequently, you have felt obliged to tell your husbands employer and his friends that he was sick, when as a matter of fact he was tight. I was not an atheist. Since we can't read all four chapters tonight, 10 pages on powerlessness are selected from The Doctors Opinion, Bills Story, More About Alcoholism, and There is a Solution. It may be just the jolt he needs. In a vague way their families and friends sense that these drinkers are abnormal, but everybody hopefully awaits the day when the sufferer will rouse himself from his lethargy and assert his power of will. You can select the following fonts: Arial, Calibri, Comic sans MS, Courier New, Times New Roman and Verdana. Who wouldnt be, with such a fevered brain? Social distinctions, petty rivalries and jealousies-these are laughed out of countenance. One day I walked into a cafe to telephone. And with us, to drink is to die. Can you charge this off as you would a bad account and start fresh with him? This process snuffed out the last flicker of conviction that I could do the job myself. We have sought sympathy. The usual outcome was that people continued to wrong us and we stayed sore. They may be the dubious luxury of normal men, but for alcoholics these things are poison. In actual practice, we usually find a solitary self-appraisal insufficient. Of what is he thinking? Nonsense. The word God, or a variant of Him, appears 281 times in the first 164 pages of the Big Book. I hardly dared cross the street, lest I collapse and be run down by an early morning truck, for it was scarcely daylight. He thought all alcoholics should constantly have chocolate available for its quick energy value at times of fatigue. Assuming we are spiritually fit, we can do all sorts of things alcoholics are not supposed to do. It may be worth a bad case of jitters if you get a full knowledge of your condition. Author: Published on: November 6, 2020 Published in: Uncategorized Published on: November 6, 2020 Published in: Uncategorized The same principles which apply to husband number one should be practiced. We'll be down.". Next we launched out on a course of vigorous action, the first step of which is a personal housecleaning, which many of us had never attempted. The First 164 pages of The Big Book with lined pages opposite text for note taking. Presently he is hit again and this time has a fractured skull. He has read this volume and says he is prepared to go through with the Twelve Steps of the program of recovery. If you take it, your past will be forgotten and the fact that you went away for treatment will not be mentioned. Mother may complain of inattention. He may bring new hope and new courage to many a priest, minister, or rabbi, who gives his all to minister to our troubled world. The Actj.on repeated stipulations set forth in a 1995 Conference Advisory Action: namely that the first 164 pages--the Preface, the forewords, the section entitled "The Doctor's Opinion," the chapter "Dr. Bob's The First 164 pages of The Big One of many good places to begin is in Alcoholics Anonymous (aka the Big Book), specifically Chapter 4, We Agnostics.. There are 5 basic types of picture books. Telling them what we are trying to do, we make no bones about our drinking; they usually know it anyway, whether we think so or not. The opposite may happen should the family condemn and criticize. Many of us have wasted a lot of time doing that and it doesnt work. e-mail: Jundia, Amparo, Atibaia, Many of these books are written in . We alcoholics are sensitive people. His defense must come from a Higher Power. He had commenced our way of life, had secured a position, and was getting his head above water. Ideas, emotions, and attitudes which were once the guiding forces of the lives of these men are suddenly cast to one side, and a completely new set of conceptions and motives begin to dominate them. The beginning of the Big Book has not been changed since 1939, but exactly how many pages does that consist of? Thus we find the fellowship, and so will you. No outsider can appraise such an intimate situation. Though his family be at fault in many respects, he should not be concerned about that. War fever ran high in the New England town to which we new, young officers All sections of this country and many of its occupations are represented. We now see that when we began to drink deliberately, instead of casually, there was little serious or effective thought during the period of premeditation of what the terrific consequences might be. Sorting and rendering passages in the proprietary format of the 164 and More concordance does not in any way imply affiliation with or endorsement by either This page was created to provide a place where these others can be collected. Of course I would! Is he not really a self-seeker even when trying to be kind? He commences to look around in the night clubs, or their equivalent, for something besides liquor. You can even train this bot to write the way you do. God has either removed your husbands liquor problem or He has not. He admitted he was overdoing these things, but frankly said that he was not ready to stop. They grinned, which I didnt like so much, and then asked me if I thought myself alcoholic and if I were really licked this time. As I drank, the old fierce determination to win came back. Yet in ancient times material progress was painfully slow. Do not ask that he do it for you or anyone else. When they talked of a God personal to me, who was love, superhuman strength and direction, I became irritated and my mind snapped shut against such a theory. We looked askance at many individuals who claimed to be godly. Mathematically, if the word God were distributed evenly throughout the book it would appear every 1.2 pages. Because it helped so many people recover, the Alcoholics Anonymous organization did not change it. Hydrotherapy and mild exercise helped much. If, on the other hand, they took nothing, their self-pity made them killjoys. They cited cases out of their own experience by the dozen. Download it once and read it on your Kindle device, PC, phones or tablets. For a brief moment, I had needed and wanted God. We told him what we knew about alcoholism. Dont start to withdraw again just because your friends drink liquor. Every means of solving his problem which money could buy was at his disposal. We know women who are unafraid, even happy under these conditions. Preface / Forward to the 1st Edition. Business and financial leaders were my heroes. If you cooperate, rather than complain, you will find that his excess enthusiasm will tone down. It may mean sharing your money and your home, counseling frantic wives and relatives, innumerable trips to police courts, sanitariums, hospitals, jails and asylums. If we have been thorough about our personal inventory, we have written down a lot. The Big Book has given me that comfort and the push to move forward. I felt this was inevitable and wondered if the bank was doing the man an injustice. Obviously, no rule can be laid down. I was through forever. If he has trouble later, he is likely to say you rushed him. Some of the snags you will encounter are irritation, hurt feelings and resentments. What had become of their judgment, their common sense, their will power? For the leading contributor. If your organization is a large one, your junior executives might be provided with this book. So to you out there-who may soon be with us-we say Good luck and God bless you!. This is a condition which, in ordinary life, would produce untold grief; there might be scandalous gossip, laughter at the expense of other people, and a tendency to take advantage of intimate information. Young people may be encouraged by this mans experience to think that they can stop, as he did, on their own will power. There are, however, additional promises in the Big Book. In the chapter Working With Others you gathered an idea of how we approach and aid others to health. Why sit with a long face in places where there is drinking, sighing about the good old days. Be satisfied he is not deceiving himself or you. Do not hesitate to take your health problems to such persons. If persisted in for a few months, the effect on a mans family is sure to be great. They should be patient, realizing they are dealing with a sick person. We have been terror stricken. Simply look up a familiar word to find the passage you seek. Copyright 2020 Now and then a serious drinker, being dry at the moment says, I dont miss it at all. My work took me about Wall Street and little by little I became interested in the market. But after his next binge, ask him if he would really like to get over drinking for good. The age of miracles is still with us. I am enclosing an attachment below of the books that the first 100 guys read before there was AA and a Big Book. God either is, or He isnt. He got drunk. While on the subject of confidence, can you adopt the attitude that so far as you are concerned this will be a strictly personal matter, that his alcoholic derelictions, the treatment about to be undertaken, will never be discussed without his consent? A.A. Big Book (164 Pages) Big Book Stories Edition 1; Big Book Stories Edition 2; Mel B's Library; Dick B.'s Library; . Suppose we tell you some of the obstacles a family will meet; suppose we suggest how they may be avoided-even converted to good use for others. The Big Book God References: This exercise is meant to be an individual study aid of the Big Book in which the author identifies the references to God. There is talk about spiritual matters morning, noon and night. Resentment is the number one offender. We can exercise our will power along this line all we wish. But we dont delay if it can be avoided. Seed has started to sprout in a new soil, but growth has only begun. His faults are not discussed. Why was it, when these dangers were pointed out that they agreed, and then got drunk again immediately? Here are the steps we took, which are suggested as a program of recovery: Many of us exclaimed, What an order! But bless his heart, let him rant! To us, the Realm of Spirit is broad, roomy, all inclusive; never exclusive or forbidding to those who earnestly seek. He was positive that this humiliating experience, plus the knowledge he had acquired, would keep him sober the rest of his life. If he is already committed to an institution, but can convince you and your doctor that he means business, give him a chance to try our method, unless the doctor thinks his mental condition too abnormal or dangerous. Usually we did not leave. Do not let any prejudice you may have against spiritual terms deter you from honestly asking yourself what they mean to you. Though a robust man at retirement, he went to pieces quickly and was dead within four years. He left us a note saying you were the best boss he ever had, and that you were not to blame in any way.. Except for seamless and commendably transparent gender-balancing (e.g., sans the grotesque "s/he" or the infamous Oxfordian "Mother/Father God"), some replacements of obsolete 1930s slang, and a few substitutions of the phrase "Higher . But why shouldnt we laugh? We think that such a view is self-centered and in direct conflict with the new way of living. Many of us have noticed a tendency to eat sweets and have found this practice beneficial. He clings to the notion that he will yet find a way to do so. Some men cannot or will not get over alcoholism. Show him your copy of this book and tell him what you have found out about alcoholism. The employer can many times protect the victim from this kind of talk. But even in this type of beginning we are obliged to admit that our justification for a spree was insanely insufficient in the light of what always happened. We missed the reality and the beauty of the forest because we were diverted by the ugliness of some of its trees. To us it is not far- fetched, for this kind of thinking has been characteristic of every single one of us. He wants to enjoy a certain reputation, but knows in his heart he doesnt deserve it. If he is not interested in your solution, if he expects you to act only as a banker for his financial difficulties or a nurse for his sprees, you may have to drop him until he changes his mind. I expressed my entire willingness to approach these individuals, admitting my wrong. The process of one addict/alcoholic guiding another through the Book takes between 24 and 30 hours, usually done in 2 - 3 hour sessions, typically over a period of 2 - 3 weeks. Every attempt failed. I dare to disagree with the words of Bill Wilson. In one of these there is a well-known hospital for the treatment of alcoholic and drug addiction. My ideas about miracles were drastically revised right then. Our actor is self-centered-ego-centric, as people like to call it nowadays. After dinner I decided to take a walk. Let the doctor, if he will, tell him he has something in the way of a solution. To some extent we have become God-conscious. That statement hit me hard. Perhaps he will never have much money again. We were prepared to look at it from an entirely different angle. Why? My old manner of life was by no means a bad one, but I would not exchange its best moments for the worst I have now. There were many unhappy scenes in our sumptuous apartment. This experience may come to you. This tragic situation has already arrived in practically every case long before it is suspected. The 164 and More web site. We should not talk incessantly to them about spiritual matters. And there often seems no way of entirely getting rid of self without His aid. When it will serve any good purpose, we are willing to announce our convictions with tact and common sense. You may already have asked yourself why it is that all of us became so very ill from drinking. Had we fully understood the nature of the alcoholic illness, we might have behaved differently. BoardPrep Recovery is an excellent option for people who may already be familiar with 12-step recovery but who may also need professional support. There was much talk about the mental state preceding the first drink. If the family cooperates, dad will soon see that he is suffering from a distortion of values. We have seldom told them the whole truth nor have we followed their advice. In the midst of such pandemonium they may have rushed out threatening to live with the other woman forever. He had been thinking it over. The central fact of our lives today is the absolute certainty that our Creator has entered into our hearts and lives in a way which is indeed miraculous. I went to town regularly and even made a little money. When possible, avoid meeting a man through his family. Some day we hope that every alcoholic who journeys will find a Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous at his destination. We have indulged in spiritual intoxication. He had plenty of money left and thought I had better go to Canada. Defeat seemed certain. Can you discard the feeling that you are dealing only with habit, with stubbornness, or a weak will? Much to our relief, we discovered we did not need to consider anothers conception of God. Big Book content exclude its stories. Our first example is a friend we shall call Jim. how many words are in the first 164 pages of the big book. Perhaps he is having a secret and exciting affair with the girl who understands. In fairness we must say that she may understand, but what are we going to do about a thing like that? He wished above all things to regain self-control. This, the first translation of the core 164 pages of the Big Book, is written by a sober 12-year member of AA. For him, this was the spree that ended all sprees. Over and over, he would say: Thats me. Many who once were in this class are now among our members. She sees she was wrong to make a burning issue out of such a matter when his more serious ailments were being rapidly cured. It thickened, ever becoming blacker. He too, has become a respected and useful member of his community. They cannot seem to forgive and forget. Of course it was. Sometimes there were screaming delirium and insanity. Show him that as alcoholics, the writers of the book understand. Yes, the old boy was on fire all right. The feeling that the drink problem has disappeared will often come strongly. Let him draw his own conclusion. It never occurred to him that perhaps he could not do so, in spite of his character and standing. 164 and More: A Reference Guide to the Big Book and the 12&12 Use 164andMore.com to search the Big Book and the 12&12.
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